Hi Jess! We are so excited to get to know you! Can you introduce
yourself (Where you’re from, your favorite hobbies, what you do for
fun? – we are so excited to get to know you!!)

Hi, I'm Jess. I'm from Atlanta, GA. I went to the University of Alabama for theatre, and moved to NYC to pursue acting after graduation. I worked for many years as an actor until pivoting after Tommy's diagnosis in 2017. I own a greeting card business called Five Dot Post which I started four years ago. I currently live in Long Beach, CA with my dog, Thor. 

What was life like before you launched Five Dot Post?

Tommy and I were both actors living and working professionally in New York. We were married in August of 2017 after having been together six years. We met in college through our theatre major and were best friends for years before we started dating. After Tommy was diagnosed in October 2017. I put my acting career on hold to be close to home and support him through treatments. I started working at a gift shop near our home which ended up leading to the idea for Five Dot Post.

Bring us along your journey – when was your husband, Tommy,
diagnosed with cancer? What was your initial reaction?

53 days after our wedding, Tommy was diagnosed with Stage 3+ esophageal cancer. We felt absolutely blindsided. We were supposed to be in newly-wed bliss and suddenly we were thrown into the terrifying world of oncology appointments, treatments, and navigating an entire new reality. He had chemo and radiation that fall, an esophagectomy and lymph node removal in January, another round of chemo in May, chemo abdominally using HIPEC in June, along with Herceptin. He had no evidence of disease until a routine scan in October showed metatesis in his lungs. It was the same day, October 18th, a year after his initial diagnosis that he was reclassified as Stage 4. Our team at the time told us there was nothing more they could do, so we sought second opinions. We landed with an incredible team at NYU Perlmutter who had the same mindset we did- that we would try anything to beat this. He had gamma knife treatment for the larger metastasis, and got into an immunotherapy clinical trial in January of 2019 which was fairly successful. It shrunk all evidence of disease causing very minimal side effects. He spent 2019 feeling strong and healed from his previous treatments. In January of 2020 we were notified that the trial was no longer an option for Tommy. We started a chemo/trial drug combination that was tough on him, but was recommended as the best option. In August of 2020, we rushed him to the hospital due to stroke like symptoms and discovered a large tumor in his brain. He had immediate surgery to remove it and it was deemed a successful surgery and an isolated tumor. Early 2021 we discovered many smaller tumors in his brain. He went through more chemo, gamma knife, and eventually full brain radiation. On August 25th, 2021, the day before our fourth wedding anniversary, we were told we were officially out of options. Tommy decided he wanted to take control of his experience and ended treatments to move into hospice at our home. They told him he had weeks, but we spent three months together at home until he passed away on Thanksgiving day November 25th, 2021.

How was Five Dot Post created?

I had the idea to design funny cancer support cards. We were young and used laughter and dark humor as a way to navigate the incredibly difficult situation we were in. The support cards we were receiving from friends and family were beautiful, but they felt heavy and more like sympathy cards. We were night in the mindset of giving up, and were actively fighting cancer while living life to the fullest. I wanted to create greeting cards that reflected that sentiment along with Tommy's sense of humor. I had no idea if they would resonate with the young adult cancer community, but I was willing to give it a try. I had no business background, no art experience, and less than a shoestring budget, but I wanted to make it happen so I slowly taught myself and built a little online shop.

Who did you, as a wife supporting her husband, turn to as your
support system?

We both have incredible families and friends. I would reach out to them when I needed it, but it took a long time to admit I needed help. I started working with a therapist from CancerCare (an incredible organization with endless resources) and learned how to voice what I needed and set boundaries that felt good to me. I also utilized anxiety medication which was a very helpful tool in my case. All of these resources combined were how I stayed afloat.

Five Dot Post Mission: “To keep you connected during the good, bad,
and messy moments of life” is so powerful! Give us a little insight as
to being an entrepreneur and launching your company during this
time.

On paper, there is probably not a worse time to launch a business than when you're unemployed with a recently diagnosed spouse who is in active treatment. For me it was the creative outlet I needed to get through those difficult months. I had something I could think about that wasn't cancer. It was important to me, so I made it work. It was a messy, hard, beautiful time and so much good came out of pushing through.

Where do you see Five Dot Post 5 years from now?

I hope to see cancer support cards available in big box store like Target and Paper Source. I would love for these types of support cards to be as common to purchase as any other card.

Any advice for other wives/husbands/children who are supporting
their loved ones?

Take care of yourself first. It's going to feel selfish, but it's the opposite. You are going to be a better caregiver if you care for yourself. It took me burning out completely to the point I couldn't show up for Tommy in the way that I wanted to get this concept. If I could impart anything it would be:

-Put on your own oxygen mask first.

-Forgive yourself quickly for mistakes. You are going to make many, so remind yourself often you are doing your very best in a very difficult situation.

-Just keep your eye on the next step. Don't jump too far ahead, take it one moment at a time.